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The current period marks a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This means going for someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {